Moments together, forever remembered
by robinishere
Summary: Basically Malec Drabbles.Have references to my previous story- broken. "I am Magnus goddamm Bane!" Well, do i need to say more? Please read and review!
1. 1 cats part 1

**Hey i'm back. :) the first chapter is here, as i promised. The second part will be on Alec's p.o.v. Thanks the ticking clock for the prompt. :D Sorry but it is a bit short. Jus trying out first and if i receive thoughts and ideas, i will make it longer. **

**Cats- Part 1**

**Magnus P.O.V **

Magnus sighed and flopped onto his sofa dramatically, almost being swallowed up by those soft cushions.

"Chairman meow…." Magnus whined, lying onto his stomach, "What should I do?"

"Meow?" Chairman meow's ears perked up on hearing his name.

"My pooooorrrrr darling had to leave for his hunt and won't be coming back until a few days. How can I survive?" Magnus cried into his pillow.

"Mreow…" Chairman meow sighed and continued to lick his paws.

"Don't you care for your poor owner at all? I'm sooooo upset and yet you're still thinking about food? Does anything upset you? Anything? Cause I have! Oh, my Alexander!" Magnus, without warning, snatched up Chairman Meow and hugged him tightly.

"Meow!" Chairman Meow yowled, trying to get out of Magnus's grip.

"Oh, Chairman Meow, I only have you now! I'm so lonely! Your poor ma- OUCH!"

The cat landed on the coffee table and raised his claws threateningly.

"You're so cruel! I'm so sad and only wanted comfort and you scratched me! You scratched your emotionally unstable master…." Magnus sniffed. "Oh god! What have I've done to deserve this?"

Chairman meow frowned and hissed, getting Magnus's attention.

"What?" He sounded like a child afraid of being scolded. Looking into his cat surprisingly human-like gaze, he realized that Chairman meow was right. He was being childish.

"But- but can't I at least get a hug?"

"….."

"Please? For the sake of bearing with you all these well?" Chairman Meow sighed and with his tail held high, he sauntered into Magnus's lap.

"…. Cats…." Magnus sighed, stroking his proud tiny cat.

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><p><strong>So how was it? Disappointed? Malec moments will be in the next chapter so review please? I need ideas as well. <strong>


	2. 2 Cats part 2

**Ta-da! Part 2 and it's much longer than the previous one. Hope that this one is okay though, but for the last chapter, only 1 review? Can i be a bit more thick-skinned and ask for more please? Let me know what you think and give me some prompts too. **

**Erm... i had been recieving feedbacks about having Malec lemons? Can i have a vote to see who wants to read M-rated chapters? Even though this is my first time writing M-rated chapters and i seriously have no idea and don't want to know unless i'm married what it's like, but i can give it a try. So please let me in your reviews so that i know if i can change this story to M-rated. so start voting please~******

**Cats- Part 2**

Alec slipped out of bed, careful not to wake the sleeping warlock up. He replaced the blanket and gazed softly at Magnus's peaceful face, his amazingly soft hair covering his makeup- free eyes. Unable to control himself, Alec reached out and stroked the dry, soft skin with his thumb.

He pulled back immediately when the warlock grunted and his smooth facial features pulled back into a frown, his eyelids fluttering open.

_Shit._

"Alec?" Magnus's speech was slurred together, his eyes half-open and his face vulnerable, _child-like_.

"Yes, I'm here. Go back to sleep. Everything is fine." Alec whispered gently, bending down and lightly kissing Magnus's forehead.

Magnus only response was a small smile and the closing of eyes. Seconds later, his breathing even out as he entered his dreamland once again.

Alec straightened up, wincing slightly as his back protested from his hunt a few hours ago. His body was yearning to snuggle beside the warm body and sleep through the day, but his mind and heart knew other. Three days without proper sleep and insulin was taking its toll. He will need insulin soon and waking up to dizziness is so not cool.

Alec stretched his tired limbs and padded, as soft and light as he could be in his state, out of the door.

He entered the kitchen and flipped the switch on, his eyes watering against the sudden brightness. He sensed a presence behind him and sighed. He should have known that Magus wasn't the type to fell asleep so easily after knowing he woke up.

"Really, Magnus, everything is fine so- Chairman Meow?" Alec turned to see Magnus's tiny cat watching him with thoughtful eyes.

The cat creped him out during his first official visit to Magnus house, it seemed so… human-like. When he asked Magus, he just laughed and told him that he will get used to it.

Magnus was right, in a way. Chairman Meow somehow became a good companion when he was waiting for Magnus to come back from his demanding clients.

Alec kneeled down slowly, not wanting to agitate his sore back anymore, and reached out his hands.

Chairman Meow got the hint and happily curled up in his laps.

"_Meow?"_

"Hm, its nothing, I got clawed by a demon on the back, but Magnus healed me up. I'm okay, just a bit sore. Why are you still awake, hm?" Alec smiled, absentmindedly stroked his soft fur.

"Meow…."

Alec laughed, "Oh, I should have known. Magnus is so forgetful sometimes. You must be so hungry. Wait here. I'll go get it."

Bracing against the wall, Alec got up slowly and prepared the warm milk Chairman Meow loves.

After a few minutes, Alec put the cat's tray in front of the awaiting cat and smiled in satisfaction as Chairman Meow lapped at milk with favor.

Done with his task at hand, Alec remembered his motive for getting up in the first place. He got up and reached into the huge fridge that Magnus 'owned'.

Ignoring those evil-looking potions, Alec reached at the side and pulled out a plastic bag, preparing the insulin syringe with experienced fingers.

He pulled up his shirt slightly, to reveal his lean abdomen and pinched the skin there. One of the reasons why he doesn't train as hard as Jace does was not to have any problems injecting insulin. The process would have been a bitch if there weren't any fats in the abdomen to pinch.

Taking a deep breath, he angled the syringe correctly and pushed it in, hissing a little at the pain. After making sure that the syringe is empty, he wrapped everything up and threw everything into bin.

Alec dropped into a chair heavily, feeling the insulin making its magic.

Mundane would feel better after taking insulin injections, but a shadow hunter would feel otherwise. Their angel blood was not used at the intrude of any fluid into the bloodstreams and it may have side effects while the body get used to it.

"Meow…?"

Alec looked up from his hands and saw Chairman Meow's ears twitching with worry, looking uncertain.

"I'm alright, just- just give me a minute." With that, he leaned onto the dining table and cradled his head with his arms.

He heard a soft mewling sound and the cat's soft footsteps bounding back up the stairs. He must be going back to sleep. After all, it was still so early.

Alec must have fallen asleep after that as the next thing he knew, arms circled his waist and he felt himself being lifted off the hard wooden chair and into somethi- someone warm and he felt so content and safe.

He opened an eye, "Magnus?"

"Yes, baby. You should had woken me up you know. If Chairman Meow didn't wake me, would you sleep in that chair all night long? It's cold tonight. "

"Mmm… Chairman Meow?" Alec snuggled closer to Magnus's broad chest, breathing in the unique scent that only his lover has.

Magnus chuckled softly, "Of course, he even bit my neck. I wonder if I'm taking care of a vampire-cat. He has sharp teeth you know."

Magnus felt Alec smile against his shoulders.

"mmm…."

"What did you say?" Magnus paused in his steps to kick his bedroom door open.

"Help…. Thank…. him…"

"Aww… you're not on my side?"

"Serves you right…. Not feeding him."

Magnus laughed, sending vibrations through his chest, "He always shows me attitude and I'm his owner, shouldn't he at least give me some respect?"

Alec sighed and shifted comfortably in Magnus's arms, "He's your pet… it's your responsibility to take care of him... no matter what he does."

"Oh, whatever, this discussion will never end. I'll try to treat him better then." Magnus laid Alec down onto the fluffy pillows and tucked him in.

"…. Better…."

Magnus smiled and pecked Alec's nose. Watching in delight as Alec wrinkled it; he always loved Alec's reactions to his kisses. It never fails to make him look adorable. "Sleep tight, my love."

"…. Come'ere….. Together…." Alec's voice grew faint as sleep pulled at him.

"Alright." Magnus slipped into the covers and wrapped Alec in his arms again. "And Alec?"

"hmmm…?"

"Let me be there for you when it happens again, kays? I don't want you to face it alone."

"…..kay… Sorry…"

"You foolish boy, there's nothing to be sorry for…. Now, goodnight."

He felt Alec surrender to sleep and his light snores met him. Wrapping his limbs around his precious shadow hunter protectively, he too, fell asleep.

In the darkness of the room, a small figure leaped onto the bed gracefully and dug through the thick blankets. He squirmed his way through, until he immerged from the other end and snuggled against the heads of the people he never want to forget…

People who hold a place in his heart… even though he sometimes didn't want to admit it.

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><p><strong>Lemon? No lemon? Good? No good? Review! :D<strong>


	3. 3 Presence

**This chapter is quite dark, but nope. No lemons yet. i'm having 1 vote for lemon so i take it you all have no objections? If this is the case, i may write lemons for... the next 2 or 3 chapters? Just to tease you all a bit. :P So yep. Pls coninue to vote whether you want lemon or not so that i can be more confident. Can i have more reviews pls? Improvements, suggestions are welcome. **

**Presence**

_Cold_… was what Alec felt.

_Dark_… was what Alec could see.

The coppery taste in his mouth- _blood_… was what Alec tasted.

_Screams_… was what Alec heard- or was that him?

Alec felt a pressure on his mind, getting heavier by the passing seconds. Alec thought that his brain would just _burst_.

"You'll always be with me …. _Always_…" A voice whispered right by his ear.

He whipped his head around, trying to get a glimpse of that person. But there was no one.

"Why bother to see….? When we are one…"

Alec felt his hollowness at the bottom of the stomach, tears streaming down his face. He did not remember feeling so hopeless…. So _helpless_ before.

"Where are you? Who are you?" Alec shouted hoarsely.

The voice chuckled, and Alec felt goose bumps rising along his spine. "Where am I?" The voice laughed again. "Who am I? Can't you be anymore creative?"

Alec twisted his head around, but he was met by darkness. Every inch of his vision was filled with blackness. The cold… oh, it was _so cold_, Alec curled into a tight ball, hoping that this was a dream, _no, nightmare_. "Go away." He whispered.

"Go away!" The voice mimicked his voice mockingly. "Is this what you can say during our first reunion?"

"No, this is not true. Alexander Lightwood, this is getting too far, this is just a nightmare. In just a few seconds, Magnus will wake you up. You know he will…" Alec whispered under his breath, rocking himself.

"Oh… That warlock? He is just a weak and emotional demon. He gets his feelings ahead of him, getting involved with a shadow hunter whose life is always in danger. He knows the consequences but yet so stubborn. Too stubborn for my liking. If he does not have any use to me, I'll have just dumbed him and end his misery…"

Alec shook his head and filled his mind with those green cat-like eyes. Slowly, he felt the fear and panic subside and he realized how quiet the 'room' seemed to be.

Has the voice left?

Cautiously, he lifted his head up and wished immediately that he hasn't. A scream tore through his throat as he sat frozen on the spot, unable to move at all.

Yes, Magnus was here, just like he wished.

But Magnus was lying on the 'floor', his unique eyes staring blankly at him. His smooth and straight hair- when free of glitter and jell- was caked with blood. His throat tore open brutally and his once firm and toned chest a bloody mess.

"No, no, no, no, nonononono!" Alec screamed, scrambling back. He buried his head in his hands, but froze in motion as he saw what was on his hands- blood.

His hands were covered in blood._ Magnus's blood._

His head shot up and he realized that he was sitting in a pool of it. The blood was like alive, running up his clothes, drenching his skin. They got into his ears, eyes, and mouth.

_Suffocating him_.

_Drowning him_.

"No!"

The last thing he heard was, "Since you're dragged into this and you are not my intended prey, I shall be forgiving. Be glad that I let you go so easily… as things will be getting much worse… "

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><p>Alec shot upright from the bed, gasping and coughing.<p>

"Alec? Alec, dearest? Alec?" Magnus asked, worried at the face of wild panic and open vulnerability of his lover.

His question got no answer, but instead, Alec flung the covers aside and stumbled blindly to the bathroom.

"Alec!"

Alec kneeled heavily in front of the toilet bowl and threw up whatever that was his dinner. Tears ran down his face as his stomach turned again and again. He was dimly aware of the soothing rubbing of his back, the hand that ran comfortingly through his tangled mess of hair and the soft and gentle voice that whispered words that made his heart slowed to its normal pace.

Finally, he slumped back against the strong and firm body behind him. He let Magnus cleaned him up and carried him back to the bed.

"Do you need anything more, love? Like insulin or…?" Magnus asked him again as he handed him a glass of precious water.

Alec shook his head, his throat still raw from the stomach acids. "I'm okay, really." He managed to croak out.

Magnus frowned at him, but said nothing. "Here." He gestured to his laps as he took the now- empty glass from those shaky hands.

Alec smiled gratefully and laid his head on his lap as Magnus tucked the blankets around the boy. That's when he realized that Alec was trembling. He held his hands tightly as felt how cold they were.

Alec curled onto Magnus as if he was worried that he might disappear right in front of him. "It's okay… everything is alright. I'm here. Your glittery high warlock of Brooklyn is here."

"Magnus?"

"Yes?"

"Can… can you put me to sleep?"

"Of course anything for you, dear." Magnus answered, trying to make himself sounded normal and muttered a quick spell to let his boyfriend rest.

As he felt the shadow hunter's breathe even out and his rigid muscles relax, Magnus let the fear seep into him.

This wasn't the first time Alec woke up screaming his head off. The first few times, they just brushed it off as stress, but this was already the what? The fourth time of the week. It was happening far too much often.

Letting his curiosity take over him, he made sure that Alec was deeply in his dreamland and reached into his mind. The first thing he felt was evil.

Halfway through his boyfriend's experiences, he couldn't bear with it anymore drew out. It was a wonder that Alec didn't go into shock.

He stroked Alec's hair and thought about the voice. It sounded familiar. He must have heard it somewhere before.

He was cut out of his thoughts as he heard Alec whimper.

"Alec?" It wasn't possible for any nightmares to happen when someone was put under the warlock's spell.

He reached into Alec's thoughts again and he felt something cutting through Alec's sleeping haze. It was not a type of mental pain like the one before. It was a physical pain. _He wasn't hurting Alec was he_?

He pulled back the covers slightly to check on the well-being of his lover when he saw Alec's hand glowing.

Magnus reached and turned Alec's hand over. The_ parabatai_ rune was glowing and hot to touch. Magnus tried to heal it, but realized that there was nothing to heal. Blue sparks ran over the rune, trying to cool the heat and barely successing.

There was only one reason why the _parabatai_ rune was reacting this way, something is happening to Alec's _parabatai_- Jace.

Magnus couldn't help but to groan at the thought. Jace was a sensitive topic between them, but Magnus know that Alec's crush over the blonde dude was over. And that was enough, Magnus did not ask for more. Both of them were contented and happy with the peace they have. But Magnus still have distaste for the proud and thick skinned shadow hunter.

Coming back to the situation, Magnus realized that the voice and Jace could be related and Alec was dragged into it somehow.

After the Lilth case, Jace had become snappier and withdrawn, even sometimes aggressive. One day Alec had stumbled back home, in bruises and cracked lips, saying that he and Jace had a spar with each other. Magnus would have beaten the crap out of Jace, if not for Alec, who claimed that Jace was in a bad mood. Who the hell could have said that it was a spar when the bruises were almost black in color and deliberately aimed on the vital organs?

What could have happened on the rooftop when Jace was alone? _Unless_…

Oh no, this was so not happening. Magnus had heard of this ritual before, but-

Something vibrated against his drawers and with one hand still cooling Alec's hand down, he picked the call up distractingly.

"Magnus Bane."

"Magnus! Oh god. I-I can't reach Alec through his phone and I was getting so worried and-" He winced at the sudden high and loud rambling of none other than Alec's sister 's voice.

"Is it about Jace?" Magnus interrupted her.

"How did you know? He went missing over a few hours ago and-"

"Izzy. Izzy, you know what? _We're screwed_."

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><p><strong>See that little button over there? Yes, please review! :D<strong>


	4. 4 Spring Cleaning

**So sorry for the super late update! My exams just ended (YAY) and sorry if its a bit too short as im currently having a fever. It sucks as i have to reach for a tissue for every few seconds. But here is the next chapter. **

**Hmm... i thought that i've been a bit Alec-biased so this chapter will be based on Magnus. To make up for the dark theme from the previous chapter, i decided to lighten things up. And please review~ **

**Spring cleaning**

Magnus was pissed. Yes, the High Warlock of Brooklyn was pissed. Very pissed. Smart Chairman Meow knew better than to go near the infuriated warlock. Blue flames shot out of his fingertips randomly as Magnus paced restlessly around the room. He felt like as if he was balloon, filled to the maximum but unable to let anything out.

Great. The High warlock of Brooklyn is now reduced to a mere balloon.

The day had not started well at all. Not well.

Well, where should I start?

People- well he can be counted as a person- had described mornings as 'Rays of sunlight seeped through between the curtains as the birds sang their morning song outside his window. Magnus turned over and wrapped an arm over his lover's waist. He opened an eye and smacked a wet kiss one his head and-'

But in reality, Magnus had woken up to a dark and cloudy day, the sky threatening to fall its shower. There certainly weren't any birds outside his window. He turned over to wrap an arm over his lover's waist- only to touch a cold and empty space beside him.

He sat up confusingly, immediately snatching up his phone to check his messages. There weren't any from Alec. There were only notifications to remind him about his busy day ahead. He will be attending a big client from the Seelie court. Even as a downworlder, he just loathes having faerie clients. They act as if their lives aren't on his hands and dismissed him as easily as if he was a useless trash. However, even as his pride is at stake, they never missed his payment. Magnus doesn't charge cheaply too, especially when it comes to the faeries from the royal court.

After a straight three hours of healing to his visit to the faeries, he was exhausted and his ears were ringing from the never- ending high pitched babblings. He swore that they were worse than Isabelle.

Barely any magic left, he had no choice but to drag his feet all the way to his apartment, while trying to look cool and composed in front of the other downwolders.

He was the High warlock of Brooklyn for goodness sake.

Being so damm tired, he just collapsed onto his favorite armchair, not at all pleased that Alec has not left any new messages. Being so tired, he slept through five hours without moving an inch. Being so tired, he slept through the loud mewling of Chairman Meow. Being so tired, he slept through the whole thunderstorm that almost rocked his whole house. Being so tired, he woke up reluctantly having the intention of return to his bedroom to resume his task. Being so tired, he did not notice that his whole apartment was flooded and unceremoniously landed his butt onto the freezing rainwater.

Well? Do I need to say more? Try cleaning up the whole house and drying the soaked furniture manually when you can do much more and easily with magic. Except that the blue flames aren't coming out as easily from your fingertips. What's the best? Your darling boyfriend was oblivious to what had happened to you, uncontactable for eight hours and even more. And guess what? The first thing he said when he finally appeared by the front door, taking off his dirtied shadow hunter gears,

"Did you do spring cleaning today?"

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><p><strong>So? How is it? :D <strong>


	5. 5 Misunderstandings

**Sorry for the super late update. I was busy with work and my other stories and was in a writing mood today. I've updated my ongoing stories today and felt quite accomplished. Here is a a angst chapter. Hope that you are satisfied.**

**Misunderstandings**

Alec stared at Magnus unable to believe what he had just said.

Magnus returned the favor, his speech barely registered in his mind until he saw it.

_Tears._

They were streaming down his lover's face.

"Is this what you really think?" the said boy whispered brokenly.

"Alec-"

"Okay. I get it. I get it…"

They weren't screaming their heads off now and Magnus have to strain his ears to hear what Alec was saying.

He tried to back step, but the damage was done.

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><p><em>Flashback<em>

"Alec…" Magnus whined into the phone, "I've waited you for so long and called you so many times. I'm tired of listening to your voicemail, will you-"

Magnus was interrupted by the sudden urgent ringing of his door bell.

His face darkened, it was already past visiting hours. But the bell seemed too urgent to ignore.

"WHO DARES TO DISRUPT THE GOLDEN PEACE OF MAGNUS BANE?"

"…Magnus?" An ever so familiar voice asked weakly.

The warlock jumped to his feet, his fingers snapping to unlock the door. "My dear Alec!"

It took all his might to just stand still to wait for the person to emerge. However, when Alec appeared, all hopes of cuddling and watching television with his boyfriend were dashed.

For Isabel was by his side, with a bloody Jace hanging limply in between them. The three of them were covered with mud and blood.

"What happened?" He made a blanket to appear on the sofa and motioned them to place Jace on it.

"Ran into a demon… more than we expected…" Alec panted, with the weight gone; he slid to the floor in a heap, trying to get his breath back.

Noticing the concern in Magnus's eyes, Alec waved him away. "I'm alright, Izzy will bandage me up. Take a look at Jace will you? Please?"

Magnus pressed his lips together and started to get work. It was just mild demon poisoning, two broken ribs and a slight concussion.

"He'll be alright, only that he will wake up feeling nauseas and may hack up some blood, but that is the way of his body getting rid of the poison. He will be up and shooting his smartass mouth in no time."

Alec smiled slightly at Magnus and craned his neck to take a look at the sleeping form on the sofa. _That look._

'Shut up! You know that Alec doesn't feel the same way about him anymore. You should trust him. Trust our love.' Magnus seethed to himself.

Out loud, "Do you all need anything? I should take a look at your injuries."

"Nah, it's okay. I just need a long bath." Izzy spoke for the first time.

With a snap of his fingers, "Your bath is ready, madam. There are also fresh clothes by the sink."

Izzy laughed softly and did a slight bow, "Thank you very much."

"Always at your service." Magnus winked at did a mock salute.

With Izzy gone, Magnus trained his eyes on Alec, searching for any wounds. But the amount of mud and dirt covering every inch of the pale and smooth skin, his eyes did not manage to spot any gaping wounds.

"I'm alright, those blood were Jace's and the demons. I need a bath too."

"Go to the bathroom in our room then. I'll call Clary and take another look at the golden boy."

"Magnus?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

"Anything for you dear." Leaving a quick peck on the lips, Alec left.

"Well, so much for my cuddling."

About ten minutes time, both the Lightwood sibling had yet to appear and Clary arrived with her fiery hair all messed up. It took a while to calm her down, but at last, she sat across Magnus at the dining table with a steaming cup of tea in her hands.

"Hey gorgeous." Magnus greeted when Alec came down the stairs.

His lover managed a tight smile before padding softly to the sofa and gently laid a blanket over Jace.

Something squeezed his heart and he tried to concentrate on what Clary was talking about.

After some time, Magnus decided that he would need his precious sleep and pulled Alec together with him.

"Go on. I'll look after him." Clary shooed the couple to their bedrooms.

A spilt second after the door was closed, Magnus grabbed Alec and hugged him tightly.

"Magnus." Alec gasped.

He responded by snipping at Alec's bottom lips, asking for permission. Alec groaned and allowed the slick muscle to enter his hot cavern.

A strangled cry escaped from him when Magnus pushed him against the wall. They broke apart almost immediately.

"Alec?"

The smaller Shadow hunter refused to make eye contact with him.

"Alec?" Magnus tried again. "What was that?"

He gave him a few seconds to answer but receiving none, he roughly pushed Alec onto the bed on his stomach and yanked his shirt up.

Ignoring the protests, he gingerly removed the bandage that was messily done across his whole back.

He sucked in a breath. A red and raw wound was at his back, from the right shoulder to the left hip. It was still oozing with blood.

"Alec..."

"I didn't what you to worry-'

"I take it that Isabel don't even know about this?" Magnus' voice was low, on a dangerous edge.

"Everything happened so fast and I was worried about-"

Magnus got off the bed and poked his head out of the door.

"Clary? Isabel?"

"Yes?" Izzy appeared in front of him almost magically. Her hair still in a towel.

"Can you ask Clary to create a portal and send you all back to the institute? Alec is asleep and I don't want anyone to wake him. You know how he is such a light sleeper." He grinned at Izzy, not betraying anything.

"Done. Remember not to take advantage of him. He may just punch you if you try anything in his sleep…"

"I know."

"See you then."

He made sure that silence was regained in his house and stalked back to the bed.

"What the hell Alec? What in the fucking world do you think you are doing? Did you see the state your body is in? Did you see it?"

"I'm getting enough of these nonsenses. Don't you even think about yourself? You are diabetic and do you know what will happen to you if it gets infected? It hasn't even stop bleeding yet!"

"I know-"

"Knowing things aren't enough! You have act! You can't just say that you know and just dance away!"

"Magnus-"

"I don't want to see anyone dear to me getting hurt, I can't stand it."

"But I didn't even notice the pain until just now. Jace-"

"Jace again?"

"What do you mean by 'again'?" Alec was starting to raise his voice and he was very glad that no one was in the house.

"It's always Jace. The awkwardness among us- the tension. It was always him." Magnus gestured wildly.

"You know that I don't feel the way I was anymore. I'm his parabatai, his brother. I just can't stand by the side and watch him suffer, do I?"

"But you can't just sacrifice yourself because of him! He's not worth it!"

"What do you mean by that? He is my brother! He is a human, no matter what he did, he meant no harm!"

"Does that include recklessly jumping into battles without getting to know the opponent? This isn't the first time he dragged you into the water."

"That's true, but that is his way of relieving stress!"

"Stress!" Magnus snorted. "Do you relieve stress by killing yourself and other people's lover?"

"He is not any person!"

"Then what? Your ex-lover? Your first crush? The first person whom you wanted sex with?"

_End of flashback_

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><p>Alec grabbed a random shirt from the cardboard and slammed the door shut.<p>

'Oh no, what have I done? I can't just lose him like that. He's still injured!'

"Alec? Alec!" Magnus rushed downstairs to see Alec opening the door, the cold air invading the house made him shiver.

Alec made a move to step into the cold air but shut the door at the last minute.

"Do you know why?"

"Alec?" Magnus called softly.

"Do you know why I didn't blame myself for Max's death?"

Magnus bit his lips. He was just a few metres away from his lover, yet Alec felt so far away.

A bitter laugh interrupted the silence as Alec turned around. His normally bright blue eyes dulled and drowning in tears.

"That's because I got you. I didn't save Max, but I managed to save you. I wouldn't have any reasons to live if you're gone. I comforted myself with that. I told myself that it's okay. I'm not alone. I have Magnus. I have you."

Magnus blinked, his lips frozen.

"But it seemed I was just so naïve. The person whom I depended heavily on is just a narrow heart bastard who can't stand brotherly affection."

Alec yanked opened the door and Magnus _just moved._

"Alec." He breathed, pleading, grasping on Alec's cold hands.

"I've told you how many times. I've convinced you that jace my brother, my parabatai. I'm doing my job like every other brother should. God! I even lost count. I did what I could to treat you as my lover. _I did everything._ But why? Magnus, why? Alright, I'm sorry for being too protective of him. I'm sorry for hiding away my injuries. I'm sorry for thinking I'm so high and mighty that I thought I could handle everything alright?" he was crying out now.

Magnus thought as if someone just slapped him awake. It was only now _he realized._

It broke Magnus's heart. Alec twisted his hand and tried to leave but this time; Magnus pulled him back and crushed his cold body against his. He ran his hand through Alec's tangled locks, trying to soothe his gasping breath and mend his wounded heart.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

_And that was enough._

* * *

><p><em><strong>Review please? sorry for the many dialects, i can't find another way to express it. <strong>_


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